Humble Beginnings
by rabastan04
Summary: Before Bo, there was Beth.


Title: Humble Beginnings

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Lost Girl and mean no harm with this story. Please don't sue me.

A/N: So, I tried to do Lauren's backstory and even took a stab at Trick's. Here's my version for Bo.

(Also, I'm trying out a new style of writing, so be warned and thank you in advance for your patience.)

* * *

Afterwards, Beth had nightmares every night. Recurring ones that cycled one after another like old re-runs.

Sometimes they were about Kyle (sweet handsome Kyle, they were graduating high school soon and planning to stay together forever and kissing him was the best but why isn't he moving, he's so heavy on top of her, she couldn't breathe, "Kyle, stop goofing around!" and he's smiling that awful smile and he's DEAD no no no no no no and she's screaming herself awake)

and sometimes it was her mother's voice that followed her in her dreams; that shrill, sharp voice that seemed to claw at her back as she ran away from home (_Whore! Unnatural demon! Get out of my house!_) because she had dared to seek comfort, dared to explain what really happened that night and ask

_Was it me? _

_Did I kill him?_

The burning, damning question.

The burning, damning _sensation_ that she could never forget.

(It was just kissing, they weren't fornicators like mom warned her about, it was just kissing and everyone was doing it - doing worse in Jessica Nelson's case - now she was more likely to burn in hell, not her, it was just kissing and his lips are so soft, and then there was _warmth love happiness pleasure full so full more please more_ except there wasn't any. Not ever again from Kyle.)

It became her most horrible nightmare, pulling her from restless sleep to choke on air and fear as she tried once again to banish the memories.

A futile action, when the other half of her brain was frantically trying to _remember_ that night and figure out once and for all what happened. (_Was it her? Did she do something? She overheard Dr. Michaels saying it was a freak tragedy. System failure. "He wasn't in pain, not really. Maybe a little tummy or chest ache but it all happened so fast...")_

Every night that she woke up from that dream, she prayed never to feel it again (_warmth pleasure full want_) and forget it ever happened (_Was it me? Did I kill him?_).

xxx

She saw a map at the bus stop and traced it with her fingers until she found a place that seemed far enough. So she bought a ticket and six hours later, landed in another small town that was almost like home, except for the lack of the cherry motif.

Beth found a job at the diner immediately. It was surprisingly easy.

Of course, they were wary at first, she was a complete stranger after all. But maybe it was her obvious youth and the desperate air she gave off, but they were kind to her. Almost _too_ accommodating, as they fed her, gave her a job and Mr. Barker (_"Call me Terry"_), owner and cook of the diner, even offered her the break room if she couldn't afford the motel.

For a while things were okay. She was painfully lonely and the nightmares plagued her sleep but she had work, she had a place to stay and she was making new friends.

But _that dream_ only intensified as time passed until it followed her into her waking hours, leaving her empty inside, increasingly hollow with yearning.

Beth labeled it homesickness, and gave in after the end of the month, calling home to check in. Say hello. Maybe ask to come back? (Be forgiven.)

Her mother answered and didn't say anything at the sound of her voice, only hanging the receiver back gently, a quiet click and hum echoing in her ear. Beth didn't try again after that.

Then the _dream_ started to shift, and overwhelming fear shifted into sadness and restlessness. She could barely remember any details now when she woke up, only that unbearable _sensation_ (_pleasure want warmth empty more_) blotting everything out.

She was distracted and became easily irritable, uncaring of how people looked at her and began to talk about her.

But Beth couldn't spare them her attention because she felt like drowning; like everything was too much and not enough, and she was panicking (_there's something wrong with her, she feels bad all the time now, maybe she's really sick oh no_) -

Terry was suddenly there, reaching for her, "Beth, are you okay? You're -"

He smelled like fried oil and cigarette smoke - nothing like Kyle's terrible (addictive) Axe spray and boy sweat at all - but she kissed him anyway and Terry kissed her back and oh, all that restless energy finally felt like it was meant for something. And the _sensation_ was back, so much stronger now (_WANT YES MORE DELIGHT_), only to open her eyes to a fresh horror (_oh GOD! What is that? What is that light his mouth its so good stop it stop it stop it stop it Beth stop it now_-).

They stumbled and the connection was broken, and Beth was gasping, her head clear again after days of walking in a haze. She could see him flailing, one hand clutching at his heart; his skin had turned gray, looking like (_Kyle's smile_) - no, not like Kyle, but it was close - and he was _still _reaching for her, his pupils blown with desire.

And despite her fear and revulsion, Beth had to fight not to go to him, to finish what she started, and it was so hard and she was still _so hungry_...

...but he was turning blue and realizing that she was watching him die finally pulled her to action.

xxx

While Terry was rushed to the hospital, Beth was busy packing. She alternated between sobbing and gagging, unable to erase the taste that lingered in her mouth (_the feel of him how could she taste how he felt gruff and kind and shy on her throat_). She wanted to stay, brush her already raw tongue once again, but instead she caught the first bus out of town. No one had accused her yet - in fact, one EMT took the time to mention that her quick response had saved Mr. Barker's life - but Beth couldn't stay because she knew what would happen next. Hadn't she ran from this exact same circumstance a mere two months ago?

People would talk and speculate and even if they never figure out the real story, she would still be smack dab in the middle of it all.

She couldn't do that again, not in the light of this revelation as everything she had long ago suspected and denied was revealed as truth: _that she was the monster_.

Freak.

Murderer.

(_oh Kyle_)

So Beth ran and learned never to look back (_never stop_).

xxx

She changed her name to Bo - an easier nickname to pronounce instead of the exotic sounding "Ysabeau" that was her actual birth name. After all, what better time to acknowledge her real self? She had known she was adopted since she was ten and drunk old Uncle Carl let it slip during Thanksgiving, but it hadn't mattered because Mom was Mom and Dad was still Dad.

Except there wasn't a Dad anymore, nor a Mom.

And Beth was gone too, because there was no way to go back to that life. Bo was the only thing left to her, the only clue she had of who or _what_ she was.

xxx

Deciding to leave Beth behind was hard. (Becoming Bo wasn't. Not when she would later discover what her touch could do, how she could _infect_ innocent people with that ever-present _... thing_ inside her, and they would do whatever she asked.)

Riding another bus, escaping another life for a fresh start, Beth had almost managed to convince herself that it was an all accident, a one-time thing (_twice now really, but it doesn't count if they survive_). She almost believed that whatever was inside her could be suppressed if she was just strong enough and good enough.

And maybe she could've done it too, if that guy hadn't sat next to her at the next stop. If he hadn't looked at her with leering eyes, his lust rising off of him like the scent of her favorite cherry pie that her mom used to make.

The _**hunger**_ (_how stupid not to realize she had been hungry all this time!_) roared from deep within her, fierce and painful, like it will never be sated. Beth managed to take in a startled breath, before she let it out in an languorous sigh, her tense muscles unexpectedly relaxing. She felt removed from her body, as though she was no longer in control of it. She knew that she was smiling at the man, and vaguely acknowledged that she had placed a hand on his arm.

He was saying something to her, but she couldn't hear from the sound of her heart pounding loudly. Instead, she leaned in and kissed him - finally! - and sucked deeply again and again, noting the light between their lips and disregarding it, until there was no more and he was slumped against her.

When she came out of her daze, Beth almost screamed at the weight of another dead man on her, and only just stifled it when she quickly realized where she was. None of the few other passengers seemed to have notice anything yet, but her panicked mind worked quickly, pulling the man's hoodie jacket up to hide his face (that same smile again why is it the same as Kyle's smile) and quickly pulled him to the window seat, letting him slump forward as though asleep.

It was crazy and torturous situation, and... well, there was no more running away from herself, after that. Sitting with the corpse of her _victim_ for the next four hours - nowhere to escape and having to pretend indifference to avoid any sort of attention, when all she wanted to do was scream and cry - was a revelation for Beth.

For the first time in months, her _hunger_ was fully sated and her mind clear, fear and panic lending a sharp edge to her thoughts.

This was her life now.

Beth was dead. She was now a _monster_, a _hungry beast_, a _killer_.

It was overwhelming and scary and for a second, she allowed herself to think of giving up (_the police or something more permanent something like ... death_) but the bus was slowing down and she noticed with surprise that the _smile_ was gone from his face, and he looked like he was really asleep now.

And that was that, despite the fear and despair and guilt, a ray of hope pierced her. There was a way to survive this (_avoid detection for a while yet_) and she would find it, no matter how long it took. She would live and survive.

xxx

Salvation came in the form of a willowy, blonde doctor, ten years later.

Bo barely heard her compliment, flirting back automatically (_she had heard them so many times, they have lost all meaning now, and yes the doctor's pretty, kinda dorky and cute, but no concentrate Bo! How can you escape this place? What is this place even? And those people! Are they like me? How stupid are you anyway, leaving the body just like that and letting that girl get a drop on you stupid stupid stupid. You should have left her alone shouldn't have tried to save her look what happened stupid_), until the full implication of the doctor's words finally registered.

Fae.

Genus, species.

And finally: _Succubus_.

The doctor (what was her name again, something L, maybe Laura? Leanne? Lauren. The boss type guy called her Lauren earlier.) was smiling at her, not knowing how her casual "You're a perfect specimen", was shaking Bo's worldview.

_She could learn control. She didn't need to kill to feed._

Bo took a deep breath and held it.

_She could stop killing, stop waking up next to dead bodies, stop running. Just stop. _

_Finally. _

And then she let go, and smiled.

The END

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More Notes: It's been a while since I've written anything and I'm very rusty (and very lazy) so I'm just happy to have finished this piece at all. :) Hope it wasn't too confusing and that you guys enjoyed it.

PS. Thanks to averyschaefer for giving me the idea for this fic and sending me good thoughts to help me finish it.


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